Every Day is Marne Gras

Some Thoughts on 23

As of 1:22 this morning
I’m the number on the back of michael jordan’s jersey
the one that carried him to the 6 nba titles
the number the Miami Heat retired even though he never even played for them
I’m 23 like a box of crayons, like yellow and green chevrons on cardboard
vestigial crayon sharpener included
2 perfect straight lines of perfect color promising a perfect school year
minus a black or a cerulean blue or a brick red broken in two or lost before the first day
23 the cartoon network channel in the mid-90’s on long island,
US-23, a road running from michigan to florida,
or Christmas eve Eve,
Track 23, I’m La Vie Boheme on the RENT soundtrack,
my introduction to juevos rancheros and dildos
my sister and i shared a pair of headphones on the train into manhattan
my mother disbelieving the words on our lips ‘do you know what a dildo is’ she asked
on cue, in unison ‘a strap-on, mom’, and then we went back to singing out the window.

I’m a juicy, bleeding 24 oz. t-bone steak with one bite missing,
I’m the right for the district of columbia to choose electors for president and vice-president in the constitution as ratified in 1961
or Blackjack plus two for good luck,
I’m ten fingers, ten toes, this nose, and two furrowed eyebrows,
Psalm 23: Mizmor l’david; The lord is my shepherd i shall not want in the torah,
or 4 short of being divisible by nine (which appeals to me),
the number of petals on a daisy I tucked in my right ear last july
plucked off one by one when i was done wearing it
(except I’m making that up because daisies are dicots– flowering plants with two cotyledons whose petals occur in multiples of four and five and 23 is a prime number)
Today I’m a prime number
indivisible
unfactorable
a mystique undeniable, when we learned about them in fifth grade my legs quaked under my desk
thank god i was sitting, thank you teacher for my first erotic math experience.

John McCain was shot down on his 23rd mission in Vietnam
Julius Caesar was stabbed 23 times when he was assassinated,
23 the number of times i refreshed that page on wikipedia to make sure i’d gotten all the interesting parts right,
23– twenty and a half minutes longer than it took my first boyfriend, it feels good to be older
If I was the 23rd state to enter the union, I’d be Maine,
still pissed off that New Hampshire got “live free or die” first for their license plates.
The 23rd mile of a marathon
I’m one water stop away from some arbitrary goal that makes other people stop and turn around when they hear about it during a cocktail hour
Remember that time you ran a marathon and I called you on a cell phone you stowed in your water belt, a perfect four minute orchestration during your 23rd mile, sneakers melting into the pavement on the route through san francisco
just keep going, I’m so proud to know you
I cried when I hung up, wrote a letter I never sent it said ‘I love… marathons’.
I’m 3 miles over a school zone speed limit,
I’m the space between one and four, or
halfway to 46.
Today I’m two dozen minus one
egg scrambled for a bagel sandwich
or a lazy sunday single omelette
why don’t you stay for breakfast, how do you like your egg?
I’m 32 flavors and then some– backwards
nobody likes you when you’re 23
If 23 people are sitting in the same room, the probability that two of them share a birthday is 50%
I’m 5 days short of a February,
or every letter in the alphabet minus x, y, and z
I’m the number of seconds it takes blood to course through the human body,
think of me and count to 23 and i’ll have ridden a circuit through your feet through every single chamber of your heart through your pancreas– i’m timing you.

Today I’m seven more than the family record for most latkes eaten on any given chanuka without throwing up,
in fact I’m one night short of three chanukas
so bring on the candles did you know
Sex characteristics are determined by your twenty third chromosome.
Now that I think about it
there’s 23 chromosomes in a sex cell
Let’s come together and divide our twenty threes up
I am every inch of this 23 today
I’m practically his Airness,
I’m Michael Jordan,
I’m nothing but net.